What happened

...to my wife!

I remember once telling my wife shortly before our son arrived how "we" would no longer be a "we", since there would soon be three in the family, an "us" is what would become. Just like when we were engaged and married, we were still a couple. However, we would not just be a couple, but a family...It would be Me, the Wife and our child. A totally new realm for everyone involved; little did I know what that really meant.

My wife was upset, and I thought maybe it could be post partum depression. Our son was an unexpected c-section after 22 hours of labor, so I initially thought that maybe she was depressed or upset or feeling cheated since we didn't have him the planned way. I had read that it is not so unusual for new mothers to feel that way. There is a lot of overwhelming things going on during delivery and then it is over and you are in your once quiet clean home with a crying baby. I was overwhelmed, tired, and having a hard time adjusting to things as well, but I think for guys it more physical stress.

You can read all the info out there and talk to all your buddies who are parents, but when you are finally home alone with your critter for me at least there is no way to prepare other than expect the unexpected. Have lots of patience and compassion to go with the diapers and wipes. When you have something so dependent on you, all along we forget about our spouse as much, focusing on the needs of the helpless crying bedwetting ball of joy in the basinet. That is something I am still working on.

So everyone is healthy, we have a new clean home, all my son's needs are met. "Enough" becomes a very vague and elusive term here...is the house ever clean enough, are our lives organized enough, did the dishes/laundry/yard etc... get done "enough"...I couldn't say. What really is "enough"? You see the other parents and maybe even think/get the impression they have it all together, they are perfect..who really knows. This is one of those things where I have no idea what some things should look like, but know how it feels, and right now things feel right as far as needs being met.

So what about my wife..the spouse..the one I courted for over a year and vowed on the altar to love and obey til death do us part? Thomas gets plenty of attention and I seriously doubt any of his needs are neglected. In fact most of our time is spent around his schedule, not very much on each other, like back when we were courting. So yeah I am sure there is something to be said for more couple time..Still working on that, but it one thing I didn't think would take so long to recover..any new dads out there, remember the wife from time to time.

Walks are good. A "date night" never fails, and try to make the event/activity a surprise, not the same old thing. With children there tends to be a plan for everything, so spontaneity is a plus.

Being a guy, I am wired to fix things when they come up, but apparently women like to talk about things, but not necessarily the things they want you to fix...They just want to talk about them....Whew, (I thought), but am i really off the hook?!...

Any comments or suggestions can be provided now..I am going to go look at pictures of "us" for awhile...