bedtime part II

Some parents may experience some type of separation anxiety at night when putting their little one down to sleep. Sometimes they just want to be held a little bit longer or it could be they just aren't wound down enough o want the bed. Just as in dealing with separation anxiety during the day, it's important to remember that separation anxiety at night is a normal part of growing up and won't last forever.

Staying up all night keeping your child company whenever they wake up or until they fall asleep only teaches them that you will reward them with your presence(i.e. attention) for their unwillingness to sleep, stay in bed etc.... And it won't help baby exit this phase any quicker, but following these tips may help ease separation anxiety at bedtime.

This one I learned right away-keep the night calm and wind the baby down before bedtime. Gradually ramp down the excitement level during the hours leading to baby's bedtime; keep the mood in the house calm. I learned quickly that playing helicopter wasn't a good idea right before bottle and after jammies. Initially it was bath, books(read a book) , bottle then bed. Thomas' low attention span ruled out the book option pretty quickly. Now he crawls around his bedroom and looks at toys and playthings, slowly winding down. This will help keep your infant's stress level low before the stressful separation that comes at bedtime.

This does require giving your child some pre-bedtime attention. During the hours leading up to bedtime, try spending some extra time focused on your baby. Put your reading away, turn off the music/TV any distractions and try to give your child as much attention as you can.
Stick to the routine – A routine can lower stress levels for your baby because they know exactly what to expect. Switching even a little detail, like skipping story-time or doing things slightly out of order, might not seem like a big deal to you, but it can be very unsettling for them. Predictability is reassuring and comforting for your child.


Don't pick him up, turn on the light, or stay until he is asleep. Whether it's when you first put him down, or when he wakes up in the middle of the night, try to avoid these behaviors. If he pulls up, it's best to just lay him back down in his crib and say goodnight again in a comforting tone or in our gently but briefly rubbing his back. Staying in there afterwards is a distraction more than a comfort.

Sometimes babies wake up at night not because of separation anxiety, but because they just aren't feeling well. Ear infections and teething can be particularly painful at night, so check with your pediatrician if you have any concerns or possibly a prescription for the discomfort. In the case of ear infections, babies will usually rub the annoying ear. When there is teething or an infection, it is so hit or miss sometimes I don't know and just put the ointment on the gums and hold them til they fall back asleep. If they are really grumpy I also have small rolled up rags that are frozen for them to chew on for temporary relief.

Whatever the reason, don't take it personal. The baby is doing it because it has a need, not a vendetta. Keep in mind what its motivation would be to drive that behavior and you are well on your way to understanding the subtle ways your young child is already communicating with you.

There are different methods out there to help your baby sleep, too. The link below describes a series of techniques called "The Baby Sleep Solution", where you are provided with 23 techniques to determine which one works best for your baby's sleep discomforts.

This is an audio program you download as well as an accompanying transcript. There is also a money back guarantee and the ad is free to look at so got to Babysleep!