The Dad

Well father's day went off without a hitch. It is odd because the whole "Dad" thing hasn't really sunk in. I mean the things that are going on now with our son are natural progressions of my life, I don't look at it as fatherhood. In context. Today our priest asked all fathers to stand up and acknowledges us, which is great albeit awkward, like when we are asked to stand up and be acknowledged on Veteran's Day and everyone claps. Still not comfortable with that one, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Service is what you do if you have any understanding, gratitude/appreciation for all the opportunities, the freedoms and choices you have in this great country of ours. It is an obligation for citizenship.
Yes, there are some indisputably regrettable things about our current situation as a country; pick your battle there. However don't forget for a minute that as a democracy not even 250 years old we are still young developmentally from a historical perspective; hence it is never to late to right the ship.
Anyways that is not the tangent I want/need to pursue. Maybe my next blog eh?!

The Dads of the day!

What about fatherhood. Yeah!... what an institution. It is alot of work but the rewards are great; you get results and feedback relatively quick! It is clearly not for everyone, which is ironic since human biology/physiology is such that a majority of males on this planet can become one. I have often joked that if I knew babies were this fun I would have done it earlier. This is more a sentiment than fact. Reality is I was pretty scared when I was at prime age for a family(i.e. early/mid twenties). Scared and selfish to a big degree, I thought I had enough to keep me busy with the Marines, trying to finish college, and still growing up well into my thirties.

Fatherhood is about so many things, but values comes to mind more than anything. Teaching the right values. Many which I ignored in my younger years and won't be surprised if my son does to some degree as his rite of passage. It is my task/duty/mission now to arm him with the sense of awareness, of judgement, the character traits that he will need to rely on to get through the challenge of modern society. Not just the social challenges like bullying, the intimacy of modern technology and conformity pressure. Those are always there no matter what the generation.

The biggest challenge this generation is maintaining moral character as technology has become so intimate there is very little we voluntarily can call "private". Yes, it is true that if you are in a public place, anything you do is fair game. However good judgement and the interest of good taste prevailed. Unfortunately in these times where print media is losing ground on all sides to the availability and prevailing inaccuracy of the Internet, the private matters of everyone else has become the new entertainment fodder. Yes, truth is always better than fiction, but there is less and less visible regard for the audience composition (i.e. children and conservative types) for the sake of beating the competition to the punch(if if bleeds it leads).

Discretion is the better part of valor, however to develop it usually requires wisdom of character and some help from humility. Shed the ego when it comes to kids or they will wear you down fast. I have hit on a lot of topics here and want to focus on one thing this father's Day, something that was drilled into me throughout my time in the Marines. Leadership by example. You can talk, yell and cajole all you want with children, but they are going learn and consequently model most from everyday behaviors, the things you say the most when you are around them, the things you do when you frustrated, the things you do when you are happy/angry/sad. Kids have these feelings too, but may not know how to appropriately express them. And no matter how you explain it to them, they will learn how to manifest them physically(i.e. act out) by you and your actions to similar feelings/situations.

Fatherhood is an awesome "task", you are morally responsible for another living being. It is also an honor, though. The child you develop into a responsible adult is only limited as a child by what you fail to teach them about the world and good choices. Canon Law doesn't consider a child capable of moral decisions prior to age seven. After then their moral "set" is usually considered "established". Why am I throwing this out so late in my piece? Because I want to end big, with the prevailing thought of how important it is to be present as a moral as well as physical and emotional support provider. Fatherhood is not just a word or a chore, it is a gift.